Things I Have Learnt This Weekend

1. Running on ice is not a good idea:  Determined to run despite the weather conditions, I set off at 7.15am Saturday morning for a planned 12 miles.  It took me 16 minutes to run (and I use that term very loosely) the first mile but figured that once I had got on to the canal towpath that the going would be better; indeed it was.  So why, after less than half a mile, did I decide to leave the towpath?  Mmmm, why indeed?  Actually my reasoning was sound; because I knew it would be a slow run, I thought I would throw a few hills into the bargain to increase the effort.  A great idea I thought but I didn't take into account the terrain.  The first off-road section was sheet ice.  I just had time to think to myself "Bugger, it must be slippery, Rommel has just gone arse over elbow" before I followed him by flying backwards, legs straight up in the air and cracking the back of my head on the track.  Now, any sensible person by this point would have called it a day but I decided to plough on as I felt sure the going would start to get better the further into the countryside I got.  What I didn't fully take into account was that I was running on a byway and clearly lots of 4x4s had decided to make use of their right to drive the tracks which had compacted the snow and turned into ice.  The track did not get any better; I got to just under three miles and decided to call it a day.  Unfortunately, I was now just under three miles away from home.  I retraced my steps and I swear to God the route was getting worse by the minute as it seemed so much harder to go back.  After one more fall on the pavement, I got home having covered the grand total of 5.5 miles in 1 hour 34!

2. One man's rubbish is another man's gold:  Or words to that effect.  We have discovered that rather than struggling to the tip with items we no longer require, if we leave them outside the front of our property we can pretty much guarantee that they will be gone within a matter of hours.  Although we have left a myriad of items out there since moving in, we have yet to see who actually takes the items away.  For all I know it could be magical pixies; whoever it is though, it's bloody handy.  Just this week alone we have got rid of a set of drawers, a matching filing cabinet, two light fittings and a partridge in a pair tree (I may have made one of those up).

3. When decorating with children and animals in the house, no matter how careful you are and how many threats of dire consequences you make, it is only a matter of time before wet paint transfers itself from the wall onto said children / dog.

4. A £30 vacuum cleaner, no matter what rave reviews it has been given, is never going match a Dyson.  Our 7 year old Dyson decided to quit last week.  We have another new Dyson lined up which we need to go and collect but it's currently over 100 miles away so we decided to buy a cheapy cleaner to tide us over for now.  Well, it's not quite worse than useless but it's a pretty much the next best thing.  I ended up hoovering on my hands and knees and then finishing off with a dustpan and brush.

5. Do not assume:  As they say, it makes an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’.  Well, as you know, the plan was to replace the carpet in the dining room with lino and to then replace the current lino in the kitchen and hallway so that it all matches and makes the ground floor of the house look more harmonious.  Now, you would think the fact that the floor in the dining room is about one inch higher than in the kitchen and hallway would perhaps have provided some clue that all may not go according to plan?  Yes, you would think that wouldn’t you?  Well, no, not a clue did it provide until Sunday night when I thought that maybe I ought to check what the flooring was like underneath the carpet.  The reason for the raised floor soon became apparent – the previous owners have laid the carpet over an existing tiled floor!  Unfortunately though, what they have done is created a half inch channel around the door thresholds so that they could tuck the carpet under the said thresholds to hold it in place.  This means that because the tiles do not go from wall to wall, it rules out laying a lino unless we a) remove all the tiles or b) backfill the channels and grouted areas to create a flat floor.  Quite honestly neither option actually appeals so we have decided to put down a new carpet instead (yes, yes, we know it’s the cheat’s way out).  The plan is to still minimise the number of floor coverings so we will replace the dining room and front room carpets and put down new lino in the kitchen and hallway.  For now we have left the carpet as is until we get round to sorting the front room out.

And so endeth today's lesson(s).